Thursday, May 10, 2012

Sunset Grill

The next morning I woke up in a way that was much different than my usual routine. I felt something that I hadn't felt since my mom died: motivation. I was not going to waste another day sleeping and moping about. I lit my cigarette and started to walk down the steps (instead of the elevator) of my apartment building and towards the coffee shop. This morning I noticed a lot more. I noticed the way people looked at me. At first, I was paranoid. I thought people were staring because they all knew about the band, or they all knew about my disease. Those two things were running deep in my mind. But maybe they were just looking, trying to learn more about me from my outer appearance. What a crazy thought. And then I noticed the clinic.

Should I go in? Are they mad that I haven't come in since I found out about my results? Is this going to be awkward? I shouldn't go in. No, I have to. I have to deal with this. I can't go in, it's gonna be too awkward. Everyone in there must know that I'm diseased. Me, Justin West, rotting away thanks to whatever chick I banged who gave me this. Okay, I'm gonna go in. I've stood outside staring at the door long enough. And it took all the muscles in my body to lift my arm and reach for the door, but I did it. I went in. I was glad to see the blonde with the nice rack was still at the front desk. It made all of this just a little bit easier. It really is the little things in life. "Hi, I'm sure you recognize me but I'm Justin West. I was here a few weeks ago for a screening, and I wanted to talk to my doctor about my results," I said timidly. "Oh yes, Mr. West, we've desperately been trying to get a hold of you. If you could just sit down for a moment, the doctor stepped out for lunch, but I'm sure he'd love to speak to you." It was really hard to hear what she was saying when I was trying desperately to avoid looking at her chest but I think I got everything. Well shit, he was at lunch. I didn't even think it was lunch time, I just woke up. So I made my way over to the row of stiff red chairs they had lined up for patients in the waiting area and I sat down in the chair furthest away from the other weirdos here to get checked out.
"I wonder why they've been trying so hard to get a hold of me. What if it's more bad news? I don't think I can take it. No I definitely can't take it. I need to get away. Far away. I can't be in here anymore." And that's when I got up and ran out. I could here Blondie calling after me but I couldn't stay. Where could I go? And then I remembered how my mom always wanted to go to Cancun. She was always so amazed by the cleanliness of the ocean water. Even though I told her a million places have clear ocean water. But it was sweet. Well, Cancun it is. And I stood up and ran out that door as fast as I could. My adrenaline was pumping so much, my smoker lungs weren't even bothered by the exercise. And I ran. I didn't think, I just ran.

...Until my not-thinking was interrupted by an overwhelming paranoia. A blood red Jeep Cherokee with an unmistakable dent on the hood had been following me for the last couple blocks. "It couldn't be the same car," I assured myself. And then I made the biggest mistake possible: I looked behind me, into the Jeep. The man from the Forever 21 arson.

I picked up my pace, and so did the van. The need to leave the country became more and more appealing. It was no longer a much wanted vacation, it was a potential life or death situation. I needed to get away from this fucking Jeep before... Before... "What exactly is this jack ass gonna do to me anyway?" I wondered. But I didn't really have any interest in sticking around to find out so I ran into the alley behind Isabella's Cafe, desperately searching for somewhere to hide. Frantically, I searched as a million thoughts raced through my head. But before I could even begin to process those thoughts, I heard a car door slam. "Bang." And suddenly, I felt a pain in my leg more intense than all the hangovers I had ever had combined. Blood began to gush down my right leg and then everything went blurry. And then everything went black. So much for that clean Cancun water.

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